


I'll see you when I fall asleep

by sunsetscolours



Category: Glee
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Wedding, cheating (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-26 00:41:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15652251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunsetscolours/pseuds/sunsetscolours
Summary: "A wedding is supposed to be one of the best days of someone’s life, that unforgettable moment in which two souls promise each other to be together for their entire life, until death do us apart; when they promise to be right there for each other, even in the darkest moments, helping them, facing their problems with them, and lifting them up, fearlessly and forever.A wedding is a promise of endless trust and love.A happy day.But for Blaine Anderson it wasn’t like that at all."





	I'll see you when I fall asleep

**Author's Note:**

> Mmh, I everyone! I'm not sure how I could come up with this fic, but here it is! And I hope it's not a disaster (LOL)  
> Just a few points before you read:  
> 1) The title is from the song "Little Talks" by Of Monsters and Men  
> 2) I don't ship Seblaine, but, you know, Sebastian is a better choice than that other character RIB paired Blaine up with in season 6
> 
> (Gwynn, thank you so much for your help!) 
> 
> Enjoy(?)!

A wedding is supposed to be one of the best days of someone’s life, that unforgettable moment in which two souls promise each other to be together for their entire life, _until death do us apart_ ; when they promise to be right there for each other, even in the darkest moments, helping them, facing their problems with them, and lifting them up, _fearlessly and forever._  

A wedding is a promise of endless trust and love.

A happy day.

But for Blaine Anderson it wasn’t like that at all.

He was about to get married to a man that was supposed to be the love of his life- and he did love him, otherwise he wouldn’t have decided to marry him- but there was something that haunted his mind and his heart, the thought of someone he had broken up with years earlier.  
His former lover.  
Kurt Hummel.  
Blaine found it absurd that he was thinking about _him_ the day of his wedding, but he couldn’t stop it. Maybe because he saw _him_ minutes before, handsome in a blue suit he had clearly designed and tailored himself, talking with Cooper -because of course he was one of the guests at the wedding, they were friends, right?- or maybe because he'd never really left his heart.  
Anyways, in a matter of minutes he would be getting married to someone else and he couldn’t keep thinking about Kurt, not anymore.  
He had to stop.

  
As if it were that easy.

 

A knock on the door of his room -where he literally escaped to avoid _him_ \- brought him back to reality  
“It’s open”

 

“Oh, there you are! Everybody's waiting for you” said a very familiar voice behind him. Blaine turned around and found two familiar, Ivey blue eyes staring at him.

_Of course he's here._

“Kurt.”  
“Hey, everything okay?”

_No, it's not okay, I'm not okay, not at all. But of course, I can't tell you that._

“Yeah, I was just... lost in my thoughts, I guess.”

_100% convincing, Anderson, great._

“You guess?”

_Precisely._

“Well, you know, pre-marriage anxiety, and all that.”  
“Ahh. So... what exactly are you worried about?”

_Oh shit, why do you always have to ask? Why do you always have to complicate things? As if they weren't hard enough._

“Mh, I don't know, everything's gonna be different from now on, ya know, marriage, life, responsibilities...”  
And it was true, those things scared the hell out of him, but only partially. There was something else weighing on Blaine Anderson’s mind, but there was no way he could tell anybody, not even Kurt. Especially, not Kurt.  
“Well, you two love each other, isn't that a good reason not to be nervous?”

_Sure, Kurt. Sure._

“Not really.”  
“Why not?”

_Please, stop asking._

“Because marriage is an important step in a relationship, I know. But we are bound forever to someone, and that's terrifying.”  
“Wait, you are telling me you're scared of marriage? You?” Kurt laughed a little, and it only made Blaine want to walk out of that room and run away from everything -including Kurt- and just breathe.  
“What?”  
“I'm sorry, but it's hard to believe that- you have always been all about marriage!”

_I was, until you broke my heart._

“Well, people change. Bad experiences make people change.” and he didn't mean to say it with such an accusatory voice, not really, but he couldn't stop it. The look on Kurt's face made him feel guilty. He had never considered his ex boyfriend a _bad experience_ , their love story was something special that he would always keep in his heart. Kurt was his first love, his first real kiss, his first “I love you”, his first time, his first everything. He loved him deeply, with all of his heart, and maybe he still did, even if he was pretending he didn't.  
Sometimes when he's in bed, with his fiancé’s arms holding him tight, he’d think about Kurt. He’d think about their time together, _his_ kisses, how Kurt loved to cuddle him any time he could. He’d think about how happy he was.  
And now it was all over.  
It had been over for years, but he still couldn’t stop thinking about Kurt, especially when he was with him, his fiancé: Sebastian. He felt like he was cheating on his future husband, but he really couldn't stop it. He couldn't stop making comparisons, no matter how hard he tried.  
And it was making everything worse.  
“I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean-” Blaine started stuttering out an apology.  
“It's fine.”

_No, it's not, you can't lie to me._

“Okay,” he replied instead, accepting Kurt’s assurance and changing the subject before he made an even bigger fool of himself, “Well.. maybe I just have to relax.”

_Or run away._

“Definitely,” Kurt agreed with a fake smile on his face, “I'm sure it's just a moment. You love him,” oh, Kurt, are you sure about this? “Otherwise, why would you say yes?”

_Did I have another option?_

_Yes, you did, and you still do and you know it._

“Yeah... right.” Blaine replied with a defeated smile and a nod.

 

 

When Sebastian proposed, Blaine was surprised. He never expected that, not from him. First of all, because he's not that kind of romantic guy, and second of all- he hates marriages. He literally told Blaine that when they first met at Scandals, after Kurt broke up with him.  
_“I always knew you were stupid romantic, but a proposal? A marriage? Are you serious? There's nothing romantic in being bound to someone. You can promise somebody devotion even without a fucking ring.”_  
Blaine assumed he must have changed his mind about it. Otherwise, it can't be explained why one night, while they were in bed after they had sex, Sebastian looked at him deeply, and proposed.  
_“I really love you, Anderson. You know that, right?”_  
 _“Of course I know” Blaine laughed and gave him a soft kiss “I love you too.”_  
 _“Then marry me” it was a whisper, but Blaine was able to hear it anyways._  
 _“What?”_  
 _Sebastian reached out his hand to the nightstand drawer where he came up with a little box. He opened it in front of Blaine and a simple, but beautiful ring was there. “Anderson, do you want to have a stupid ring on your finger for the rest of your life and be my husband?” Blaine laughed again, hugged Sebastian and without thinking twice he accepted that “stupid ring” that his boyfriend, now fiancé, was giving him._

_When they told their friends about the engagement, they were all surprised that Sebastian had been the one who actually proposed. “We always thought Blaine would have done it.”_   
_“Well, I guess he beat me to it !” he tried to be funny, faking his happiness and his smile._

They were all wrong.  
Blaine proposed once, to the man he thought was the love of his life, and his heart got broken. He made a promise to himself that he would never do it again.  
With anyone. Maybe Sebastian wasn’t his true love, but if Blaine really loved him, and he trusted him and was happy with him, then spending the rest of his life with him was something that would be worth it.

 

They spent months organising their wedding, nothing big and boisterous, just a simple event with their friends. Once everything was planned, they were satisfied, and above all- Blaine was . But now, one step from the wedding, with Kurt by his side, he wasn't sure anymore.

 

On the other side Kurt was secretly falling apart.  
He loved him.  
He was still in love with Blaine Anderson, and he loved him with all of his broken heart.

When Kurt came back to Lima years before, he was determined to win the love of his life back. He knew he had to work hard to succeed and he was ready to do his best. But when he saw Blaine with Sebastian, and how happy he was, he couldn't bring himself to be an ass and ruin their happiness. Even if he couldn't stand that mongoose and never will, he had to do it for Blaine. He didn't deserve to suffer again.  
He gave up.  
He gave up despite the chance he had when they were stuck in that fake elevator. And now all he had were memories.  
Beautiful memories.

He had been watching their romance grow stronger over the years, jealous because he wanted to be the one making his Blaine happy, but he couldn't and it was all his fault.  
Now he just had to be happy for them, smile when they recite their vows and cheer when they kiss. He had to pretend, just like he had been doing for years.

 

The door behind them opened and Cooper Anderson entered in the room. He looked at the guys in front of him- he had always known his brother was making the wrong decision, 'cause he was obviously still in love with his ex boyfriend -and he knew that Hummel felt the same. Coop was sure about it- but still he couldn't do anything to stop the wedding. After all, it was Blaine's decision. He can only hope that Sebastian will make him happy.  
“I'm sorry to interrupt you guys, but you are requested. Blaine, the ceremony is about to start.”  
It took Blaine a while to realise what his brother had just said, but when he did, he didn’t know what to do. He looked back and forth between Kurt and Cooper.

_One more minute... Just one more…_

“Fine, Coop, just give me a second.”  
The eldest Anderson nodded and went away, knowing that the two guys needed one last time together. To say goodbye once and forever.

“So... I guess you have to go”

_Please, love, don't go. Stay with me._

“Yeah, I have to...” _But I don't want to, please, Kurt take me away from here. Take me with you._ “See you downstairs?”  
He didn't wait for an answer before he turned his back a Kurt, not at all ready to go to Sebastian, and started walking to the door.  
“Blaine, wait!”  
Blaine turned around, looking at his ex boyfriend, with a strange, hopeful feeling inside him “What?”  
And maybe it was all Blaine's imagination, but because of the way Kurt was staring at him and holding his breath, for a small moment it seemed that Kurt was about to say something important. It made Blaine hope even more, but maybe it was just him.  
“Nothing, it's just... your bowtie, it's crooked.”  
“Oh...”  
“Can I...”  
“S-sure.”  
Kurt stepped forward and reached out his hands to the bowtie to adjust it, just like he would used to do when they were together. They both smiled at this gesture, remembering those moments, insignificant to anybody else, but precious and special to them, just like their entire romance was.  
They would never forget it.

When Kurt finished, Blaine found a bit of courage within himself and planted a soft kiss on Kurt's cheek. It was his goodbye. Then he smiled, again, sincerely, and walked out of the room.

Kurt watched the love of his life walk away from him, with a hand on his cheek and a sad smile on his face.

_Goodbye, my love._

Half an hour later, Blaine Anderson got married to his best friend, Sebastian Smythe, pronouncing “I do”, right after he chanced one last look at the only other man he'd ever love in his entire life: Kurt Hummel.

Kurt smiled, cheered and later on, danced and drank.  
He faked his happiness for the whole event, and then, when he got home, he cried in Rachel's arms.

 

Over.

  
It was definitely over.


End file.
